"MARIAH CAREY IS A NO GOOD HUSSY."

OMG. This show just keeps getting funnier and funnier.  Meet The Burnses from Florida. The couple appeared on NBC's The Marriage Ref tonight and had a couple of boneses to pick before a celebrity panel of judges which included Kelly Ripa, Alec Baldwin and Jerry Seinfeld.  Mr. Burns is pretty easy going.  He likes to keep his motorcycle in their Living Room and watch Mariah Carey DVDs in their Den with the door shut.  This makes Mrs. Burns want to scream.  No, literally - she would scream at her husband for his behaviour.  "Mariah Carey is a no good hussy and I want her out of my home!...  Why would you want Mariah Carey when you have me?!?... You're practically involved with Mariah Carey!!!", she proclaimed jealously.

The celebrity judges wound up ruling in Mr. Burns' favour and I couldn't agree more.  We all need a little Mariah in our lives. Moreso 1990-2005 Mariah; 2009 Mariah... not so much.

MADONNA ON THE MARRIAGE REF

There she goes again, being all in-your-face.  Madonna appeared on Jerry Seinfeld's new hit show The Marriage Ref on NBC tonight and I must say once again, the show was beyond entertaining.  The Queen of Pop joined the celebrity panel alongside Larry David (Arrested Development, Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Ricky Gervais (The Invention of Lying, The Office - UK) and there was a whole lotta arguing with Madonna taking a feminist stance on pretty much everything.  

The panel got to judge amusing couples' conflicts tonight including a wife who treated her lizard better than her jealous husband, which Madonna had no issue with, and also a couple burdened by the husband's overbearing mother.  In tonight's episode, the audience got to see the mother belittle her son, a 46 year-old man, for not having sex more often with his wife.  What gets me is that the man is a Psychotherapist!

I am in love with this show and for me it's honestly more about seeing the celebrity panel bicker than the actual couples' drama.  Oddly though, the couples only win a Royal Caribbean Cruise for their embarrassment, so clearly the budget is going all into the celebrity guest appearances.  Congratulations NBC, you've just made television exciting again for me!

And while we're on the topic of Madonna, Oscar-nominated actress Maggie Gyllenhaal appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show today and confessed her adoration for her since the age of seven.  Gyllenhaal revealed that she attended Madonna's Oscar Party and got to dance full-on with her for a  minute, but couldn't keep up with her.  Before long, she noticed Madonna dancing with her husband, Peter Sarsgaard, who in her words was "controlling it" with his neck tie.  Good times.

THE MARRIAGE REF - A RATINGS HIT

NBC's The Marriage Ref was previewed last night as a 30-minute teaser after the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics Closing Ceremony and it was a certified ratings hit, beating out its timeslot competition at 10:30 PM EST.  

The reality show produced by Jerry Seinfeld, brings real couples with humorous domestic dilemmas aboard, while a celebrity panel of judges come together to help resolve their disputes.  Appearing on last night's episode were Alec Baldwin, Eva Longoria-Parker and Jerry Seinfeld, while comedian Tom Papa hosted.  Coming soon are Sarah Silverman, Madonna, Tina Fey and many others. 

Featured last night on the show were a couple quarreling over whether or not the husband could keep his Taxidermied dog Fonzie around the house, which his wife was terribly against.  Another couple was debating whether or not to install a Stripper Pole in their bedroom.  The husband was all for it, the wife... not so much!

The full first episode of The Marriage Ref premieres this Thursday, March 4, 2010 on NBC at 10 PM EST.  Quite possibly the most brilliant hour of television ever.  Aside from Glee, of course.